February seems to be shaping up as the month of collisions. First, two satellites collide in Earth orbit, which may or may not be responsible for the fireballs over Texas. Then a commuter plane slams into a house near Buffalo. Two nuclear subs – one British and one French – collide in the Atlantic. And now Heron has collided with the sidewalk (hope you’re feeling better today). Be careful out there folks.

A pretty good weekend, sports-wise here. Syracuse basketball hopefully put their typical mid-season slump behind them by beating Georgetown on Saturday. Sure, they blew a 16-point lead and had to go to OT, but it’s always good to beat G’town, no matter what. The SU lacrosse team opened up the defense of their national championship by thumping Providence 22-3, and the women’s team (ranked #2 in the country) began what will hopefully be a title run with a 21-4 win over Lemoyne. The only bad news was that my old High School – ranked #1 in New York State – had its 38-game winning streak ended. Oh well.

It’s President’s Day today, for whatever that’s worth. No mail delivery today, and the banks are closed, I think. I don’t have the day off, but I do earn a comp day to use later (like maybe when the weather’s warm again).

Well, time to get this Monday party started.

On Press the Meat this week, Obama Senior Adviser David Axelrod is on to explain to us why a guy who’s supposed to be so smart can’t even manage to fill his Cabinet. Then a political roundtable with the National Journal’s Ron Brownstein, the Washington Post’s Eugene Robinson, Roger Simon of Politco, WSJ hack kimberley Strassel.

Faze the Nation has White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, the always fun to watch Barney Frank, and comb-over master Dick Shelby.

David Axelrod brings his show over to Fux News Sunday, which also has Google Chairman and CEO Eric Schmidt and chief economist of Moody’s Economy.com, Mark Zandi. Plus a bunch of Fuxheads to keep Weaselface Wallace company.

At the Goebbels network, it’s “Bipartisan Debate” day, as George Snufalufagus has the thoroughly disgusting Peter King of NY, and the not quite as disgusting (‘cuz he kinda reminds me of the Mayor on “Carter Country”) l’il Lindsey Graham facing off against Chuck Schumer and Maxine Waters. Doesn’t sound like a fair fight to me. Then the Axis of Drivel is reunited as Sam :omg: Donaldson, Cokie (the hag) Roberts, and George :jerk: Will are joined by political mastermind Donna Brazile at the roundtable. And you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Sam Donaldson’s toupee in HD.

CNN’s Late Emission never seems to list its guest anymore. I think they’ve resorted to dragging homeless people in off the street, which, come to think of it, would be a much more informative show than the rest of these bozos have going on.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Lesley Stahl tells us that the “Buy American” clause in the Stimulus Bill has manufacturers her worried that they won’t be able to dump our goods overseas (which is silly, because the almost the only thing we export these days are jobs, and with the dollar so low, they can’t afford not to keep buying what little else we make these days). Scott Pelley reports on Paul Bishop who he warned his superiors at World Savings – the nation’s second largest savings and loan company – that many of the mortgages they were granting were misleading and predatory three years before the housing market crash. And Steve Kroft reports from Pakistan, where he interviews its new president, Asif Ali Zardari Islamic,about the Islamic insurgents trying to take over the country.

Have a good Sunday, y’all. Only 207 more days ’til football season.

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The time when a young man’s thoughts turn to, well, the same thing they turn to every other day of the year. Apparently it’s different for chicks (at least that’s what my nearly half a century of teevee watching has led me to believe). Otherwise, I haven’t gotten around to see what’s going on the world, having just watched another most excellent episode of BSG from last night, and now being in the middle of last night’s Psych (just occurred to me that I hadn’t put out a thread for today). I did see that the House Republicans are still the same patriotic and helpful bunch they’ve always been. Goodie for them. I hope it drives the Democrats to leave them out of the loop entirely. If they can’t be helpful then they’re best ignored. Now, back to the show….

Look out, it’s Friday the 13^th!

It’s already not a very good day in Western NY with last night’s plane crash in Clarence Center, near Buffalo, killing all on board and one on the ground. The house is still burning right now (and I get to see it live on the teevee). Having gone to school in Buffalo for a couple of years, I’m pretty familiar with the area. It’s maybe two or three miles off the NYS Thruway, so it must have been quite a site from there. Hopefully nobody I know was on the flight.

Of course, everything has to relate to either 9/11 or (especially if it’s Buffalo) Tim Russert, and in this crash we get a two-fer: one woman on the flight was returning to Buffalo for a scholarship being set up at Canisius high school in memory of her husband (who was killed in the twin towers on September 11^th). Tim Russert went to the same high school.

Speaking of planes, Smithsonian Institution scientists have confirmed that the birds that brought down flight whatever the hell it was that landed in the Hudson River (you may have heard about that) were Canadian geese. The lo-cal news twit just told me that “they still don’t know if the geese lived in the area or migrated there.” Does that really freakin’ matter? Is it better, or worse, if these were “out of town” geese? Or is it that we must attempt to eradicate all manner of flying creatures within a 100 mile radius of every airport? Hey, let’s face it people, going up in the air in a big aluminum can carries some inherent risks. Deal with it. I just thank goodness these weren’t illegal Mexican geese, or we’d have the Palin family flying around the area in helicopters, blasting away with their shotguns.

It’s also shaping up to be a crappy day for my sister and her husband. Their 12-yr old German Shepherd is apparently in pretty tough shape, and they may need to make “the decision” today. When it comes to critters, my sister and I very much alike (I think we get it from our dad), and I know how she’s feeling. It tears me up just thinking about it. Why can’t dogs live as long as friggin’ parrots? It’s not fair, and it’s even worse that you almost always have to intervene and decide to let them go. I just want mine to be healthy as long as they’re around, and wake up dead one day. That would be hard enough to deal with.

Granny will be working on a crappy unit today, so who knows when she’ll get home. The other night, it wasn’t until 9:30. Don’t worry, taxpayers (or Governor Blinky), she didn’t get paid past 4:30.

Speaking of our esteemed Governor, he’s quite upset about Saturday Night Live’s parody of him. Apparently, making fun of him is responsible for the 37% unemployment rate among the disabled. I suppose his draconian cuts to Medicare, Medicaid, Education, Healthcare, and Social Services will be good for the disabled, though. After all, the only real way to put them to work is to preserve the Bush/Pataki tax cuts for the wealthy while the Feds keep funding their “retention incentives” (thanks, Sue), which they hopefully won’t have to pay taxes on, because that would somehow be bad.

There must be some good news out there somewhere today. About all I can think of is that the Mega-Millions jackpot is up to $85 million. Of course, that’s really only good news if I win.

Maybe something good will happen during the day.

So, looks like we’ve got a deal on the new stimulus package (assuming you find a milquetoast agreement between a bunch of spineless weasels stimulating). Oh, I don’t doubt that there are some good things in there, but I think we’re gonna have to put a few trillion more dollars on the tab to get things turned around. I’d really hoped to have a WPA program to rebuild things, and maybe a CCC-like project to give younger folks the opportunity to see what it’s like to work while doing some good.

Instead, Democrats had to suck up to Republicans like Susan Collins (who managed to strip protection for whistleblowers out of the bill), just to get something passed. Sounds like Harry Reid tried to screw over Nancy Pelosi on the whole deal, too. Or maybe it was the other way around. Whatever.

The financial CEOs were less than impressive yesterday testifying before Congress, attempting to justify their huge bonuses in light of their companies using taxpayer dollars to fund them. Barney Frank appeared to stump them by asking why they should get a bonus for doing the right thing, and wondering what they’d do differently if they didn’t get a bonus.

Speaking of bailouts, Nadia Suleman, the poor woman’s version of Angelina Jolie, now has a website up accepting donations to help fund her baby jones. Donate enough, and maybe you’ll get an embryo pendant or something (at least a Sammy the Stem Cell pin). I think all those anti-stem cell research right to lifers ought to be falling all over themselves bailing her out, personally. She’s a great poster child for the cause, and it’d be a helluva lot cheaper than putting money into healthcare and education for everybody’s kids (which would be welfare, and therefore bad).

Ford’s Theater just reopened after an 18-month, $25 million renovation, and the President and his wife were on hand. Not sure how good an idea that was, but it looks like they both came away unscathed, which is more than I can say for a dead Russian satellite and a US Iridium bird (part of the system that provides satellite phone service), that collided yesterday, destroying both. They’re tracking about 500 pieces of debris so far, and there’s a slight possibility that the ISS will be affected. As we get more crap up there, this sort of thing will no doubt become more frequent.

Oh well, look like it’s about time to get off the couch, and get ready for work. Have a good day.

CEOs from 8 bailed-out banks are heading to DC today to do a little sight-seeing, check out the museums, and suffer the faux outrage and tsk-tsking of the House Financial Services Committee. Expect a lot of stern questioning that might eventually lead to a non-binding resolution (but probably not).

All this tough talk of more transparency has got the banks all riled up. In fact, Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley – beneficiaries of $10 Billion of our money – are so irked by all this ill treatment that they want to pay back that money as soon as possible. Except, they don’t have the money to pay it back right now. But, boy-howdy, if they did, they’d sure show us for making them take our dirty money!

Otherwise, it’s another day where you probably don’t want to go online to see how your retirement fund is doing, what with the market taking another dump yesterday. Don’t worry, I’m sure Congress will bail you out, after which you can resent them for it, and threaten to pay them back (someday). Hey, just be grateful you’re not a member of the Carpenter’s Union, Local 747, who had their pension money invested in Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme.

There was some good news yesterday for us old dogs out there, as 10-yr old Stump won best of show at Westminster, setting the record as the oldest winner ever. Apparently he had to come out of retirement because his pension fund is in the crapper, too.

Ah, well, spring is in the air (for a day, anyway), with a high of 55 expected here today. A good day to call in sick, if you can, and take a walk. Or maybe see if you’ve got half a dozen or so embryos kicking around in your freezer, and get them implanted.

I didn’t watch the President’s press conference last night. I probably would have had I thought of it, but I didn’t. I may have inadvertently recorded it though, so maybe I’ll get to see it yet (and, really, there isn’t much you can’t find on the Internet these days anyway). But I did catch a lot of feigned outrage from Republicans like l’il Lindsey Graham (who came out of his closet and saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of whining). Funny they don’t mind throwing buckets of money at banks, but the thought of spending money on putting people to work makes them apoplectic. Neither stimulus bill does enough, IMHO, but the Senate version sucks more than the House one.

I seriously don’t care if A-Rod took a “banned substance” that he doesn’t really remember what it was but he’s really, really sorry about. Although, I did just watch a CSI episode where some ultimate fighter dude had ‘roid rage and ripped some guy’s arm off, and then ripped his own biceps muscle out using a piece of broken mirror. Pretty icky. So, Rodriguez probably shouldn’t do that.

Speaking of drugs I don’t care if athletes do, I saw something about why dope was made illegal. Turns out, in the twenties, they wanted cheap labor in the South and Southwest, and – as we all know – cheap labor = Mexicans. So, there were lots of Mexicans coming in to do our crap work. Being poor, they weren’t exactly out there drinking top-shelf booze, and instead were smoking that silly little weed that grew pretty much everywhere.

Then came the Depression, and those dirty Mexicans were taking “our” jobs, so there was an effort to vilify them (some things really don’t ever change, do they?) by making dope illegal and painting it as a horrible narcotic (which it isn’t) that made everybody instantly insane and/or criminal when they smoked it. The big push to make it illegal came from powerful politicians from the South and Southwest.

So, now we have this ridiculous, hugely expensive, and never-ending “war on drugs” (hey, Republicans, want an idea on how to cut spending?) that makes regular people criminals, and makes murderous criminals rich. All over a plant that God put on this planet that grows everywhere outside the polar ice caps.

I guess they think they know more than God. Blasphemous and shameful, indeed.

Another week begins. Not a whole lot going on, as far as I can tell. Some sort of nonsense at the Grammys last night, involving a couple of people I’ve never heard of and really don’t care about. Looks like Australia is on fire. The stimulus deal will apparently get debated on and maybe voted on this week in the Senate. As far as I can tell, it’s a big friggin’ joke that doesn’t seem as if it’ll do much of anything. I thought we were supposed to get some big WPA-like programs to rebuild the nation’s infrastructure and put people to work. Guess not. That’s what happens when you have a government run by a bunch of crooks. And Governor Blinky isn’t much help, either.

The only thing you really need to know today is that Buck is home.

But, if you must know…

On Press the Meat today, Barney Frank is on to talk about stimulating David Gregory’s package. I think. I mighta read that wrong. Also talking about “the package” are Claire McCaskill, Nevada Senator John “Insane” Ensign, and Indiana cracker, Mike Pence. Plus “Fiasco” author Tom Ricks (who appears to have a pretty big friggin’ head).

Over at Faze the Nation, loser John McCain will be on, desperately trying to prove he’s relevant. Plus there’s that very rare species of human – a Democrat from North Dakota – Kent Conrad. He’ll be on to explain that it’s the South Dakota Democrats that don’t pay their taxes. Plus the Chair of the Council of Economic Advisers, Christina Romer.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace hosts Larry Summers, the director of the National Economic Council, and perhaps the biggest asshole in the Senate (and there’s a lot of competition for that title), John “cornhole” Cornyn from (of course) Texas. This week’s crew of fuxheads includes creepy Fred Barnes (seriously, would you let him babysit your five year old son?) of The Weakly Standard, NPR’s Mara Liasson, the extraordinarily arrogant and ignorant Charles Krauthammer, and Juan “token” Williams.

Speaking of tokens, Michael Steele (a species even more rare than a ND Democrat) pops into the Goebbels network studios to yell out “tax cuts” a few million times. Larry Summers will also be on hand so that George Snufalufagus has somebody to ridicule, and then, at the roundtable, it’s Robert Reich, disgraced, washed up, has-been Newt Gingrich, George :jerk: Will, and Claire “mid” Shipman.

Mitch McConnell isn’t on anywhere this week, but I just wanted to add that he’s a prick.

In the afternoon, you get one more shot to watch some football (sort of), when NBC airs the Pro Bowl.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Katie Couric will gush and fawn over US Airways Capt. Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger and his flight crew (apparently there was some sort of plane landing in the Hudson River the other day; I don’t think it’s been covered in the news much). Katie gets a double segment for this one. Then Steve Kroft reports on Coldplay, including a “candid” interview with Chris Martin.

In answer to a question I saw yesterday asking “Who DIDN’T take the roids,” the answer is: me
 
I have taken neither steroids nor human growth hormone. All this male pulchritude is 100% natural, baby.
 
And I’m packin’ one helluva stimulus package, if you know what I mean.

Oh, and if you read on some blog somewhere that somebody is claiming to have been “banned” from here, just know that it aint true. They’ve either forgotten their password/username/e-mail address (more likely all three) and are therefore incapable of retrieving their password, or they’re lying.

Or both.

Have a good Sunday, y’all.

Here’s a nifty little chart showing what job losses in the current recession are like, compared to the recessions of 1990 and 2001 (click the picture for a bigger version):

In other news, Todd Palin (husband of, well, you know who) has now been found to be in contempt of Alaska State Senate for ignoring a subpoena in the investigation of his wife the Governor’s abuse of power. This means, well, it means absolutely nothing, since the AK Senate also voted not to inflict any penalties on the Toddster. No word on whether this shame will hurt corporate sponsorship of his snow machine racing enterprise (my guess, probably not; it isn’t like he got caught smoking dope or anything).

Oh, and KP, my advice to you re: the right-wing boss’s e-mails (for what it’s worth, which aint much)? Ignore them. No good can come of talking politics with family or acquaintances, let alone the people who pay you. You’ll never convince the ditto heads that they’re misguided, no matter how many facts and how much common sense you throw at them.

As long as he doesn’t mention it at work, just hit the old delete button – that’s what it’s there for. If he asks you if you got them, just say yes. And if he asks what you think, chuckle a bit as you say, “oh, that stuff’s been going around the Internet for years,” subtly implying that they’re right up there with the guy from Nigeria and those “this really happened to a guy a friend of my next door neighbor’s cousin knows” e-mails you get (without actually coming out and saying it).

It’s supposed to be up in the 40’s here today, which will feel mighty nice. Have a good Saturday.