Happy Waitangi Day, everybody. Well, except for you Maori seditionistas out there. To you, I say: Kia awhinatia mai te kaupapa nei! I think.

Or, as my wife will no doubt say, “oh, is that today?”

Anyhow, like most regular Americans, I didn’t get much sleep last night, because I was tossing and turning over the sad news that Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong have broken up (all she wanted to do was have some fun :hubba:).

Isn’t there anything out there to help us get some sleep…? :billcat:

Yes! It’s the Sunday talking head shows! This week’s theme: Republicans only.

First, on Press the Meat, Timmy “Potoatohead” Russet shows us his Boehner, and then Arlen Specter drops by to show us that, other than doing whatever the Kristian Konservatives want him to do, he’s a true moderate. Oh, and some asshole from the Wall Street Journal will be there, too.

Faze the Nation will discuss how spying on Americans is actually a good thing, and then recap our bold leader’s glorious SOTU address (or is that, our glorius leader’s bold SOTU address?), with Alabama Senator Jefferson Beau “I say” Beauregard Sessions III (who wanted to capitalize on Hurricane Katrina to rejuvenate his bill to premanently repeal the estate tax, passionately opposed John McCain’s anti-torture amendment – and now supports Dick Cheney’s proposal to exempt the CIA from the torture ban – unsuccessfully prosecuted three civil rights workers on bullshit charges of voter fraud- they were acquitted in four hours – and once labeled the NAACP and ACLU as “un-American,” and “Communist-inspired,” saying they “forced civil rights down the throats of people.”), and Senator Pat Leahy. Hey, how’d Leahy get on? Didn’t Schieffer get the memo? They’ll also have David “Asshole” Brooks from the NY Times, and Karen Tumulty, from Time.

This Week, George Snufalufagus has Ken “I’m not gay” Mehlman on to tell us that Republicans aren’t really a bunch of amoral, unethical, corrupt criminals, and, even if they are, the Democrats are too, so there. Plus, Gen. Michael “Elmer J. Fudd” Hayden will be on to tell us how he plans to lie to the Senate Judiciary Committee on the domestic spying program he designed at the NSA when hearings begin on Monday. Oh, and Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes will be on because apparently there’s nothing important happening in the world. And of course there’s always ABC’s axis of drivel, Sam Donaldson, Cokie Roberts and George Will.

Fux News Sunday with Chris “Oedipus Wrecks” Wallace does the big work (as usual), investigating whether the outing of the NSA spying program helped the terrorists. Then they, too, pull a Boehner, trot out Gen. Elmer Hayden on to work on his lies some more, and then Surgeon General Richard “Who?” Carmona will be on to tell us, um, whatever.

If you’re still awake after all that, I suggest you start drinking heavily. :alc:

Hey, is anybody going to see Marc at the Paramount in Aurora, IL tonight? Looks like a great place to see a show – any show.

Well, if you do go, tell him everybody here says “hey,” and we’d sure like to know how long his show’s gonna be, and when and where it’ll be on. And if he knows why this information seems to be a better kept secret than the undisclosed location of Dick Cheney’s crypt, we’d like to know that, too.

Well, it’s been quite a week, hasn’t it? All but 23 Democrats (I’m not counting Obama and Biden) stabbed us on the back on Monday. Scalito was crowned on Tuesday morning, after which freedom of speech (or at least freedom of t-shirt) was officially outlawed, and dubya gave a eunuch’s version of the SOTU address, boldly pledging to “form a commission,” and officially denouncing Rick Santorum’s attempts to cross-breed with a schnauzer.

Wednesday saw the Capitol Police saying “oops” about the whole t-shirt thing, but at least everybody was treated equally (Bill Young’s wife was asked to leave, and Cindy Sheehan was given the bum’s rush out the door, handcuffed, thrown in the hoosegow, and charged with a crime).

On Thursday, Bush said he was just kidding in the SOTU when he said he would “replace more than 75 percent of our oil imports from the Middle East by 2025.” Later on that day, Republicans pulled a Boehner, and, in a tough new approach to ethics reform, voted to ban former members of Congress from the House gym. Over at Gobbler’s Knob – insert Monica Lewinsky joke here – Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, presumably indicating that we will have six more weeks of unseasonably warm weather.

What joys will Friday bring?

I’m pretty sure that human-animal hybrids get better gas mileage, so I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I wonder if we can enlist Bill O’Reilly and John Gibson in the fight against the War on Chimeras?

I’ve got my eye on this cute little half-woman/half-dog (at least, I think that’s what she is) myself. You gotta love those, um, puppies of hers.

I don’t know who the White House entertainment coordinator is, but let’s hope they don’t let Bush trip and watch The Island of Doctor Moreau again. God help us if he gets hold of Doctor Strangelove.

Well, if you’re like me, the Führ– er, I mean, President’s speech was just so rousing (dare I say, a-rousing?) that you couldn’t get to sleep last night. I dunno ’bout you, but I just think he’s dreamy. Anyhow, for those who just can’t get enough of that bush, this thread’s for you.

Use this thread to make fun of the speech as it happens, and to comment on the Democrat’s response.

And good for you, Cindy Sheehan, and California’s Democratic Rep. Lynn Woolsey, for having the guts to invite her.

Oh, and Joe Lieberman, try and keep your tongue out of the preznit’s mouth, would ya?

 

As president bunnypants swaggers into the SOTU address tonight, trying his best to look like a triumphant Caesar, here’s some things to keep in perspective.

Osama bin Laden is still out there, and the real brains of Al Qaeda – Ayman al-Zawahiri – showed up in a new video yesterday, (looking alive and quite well) to taunt our “war president,” calling him a “failure” in the war on terror, and a “butcher” for killing innocent Pakistanis. Republicans in Congress want Bush to come clean on his Abramoff connections (and more show up every day). The traditional media had one two of their own seriously wounded in Iraq, as Jill Carroll was begging for her life on videotape. Bush’s buddy Kenny-boy Lay’s trial began yesterday, and we’re all still waiting for the other shoe to drop on Karl Rove. Gas prices are up, deficit estimates are up even higher, Bush’s approval ratiings remain in the toilet, and trotting out that tired old “nine-won-won” chestnut doesn’t seem to be working anymore.

So, watch the SOTU tonight if you can stand it (I know I can’t; the feeling of embarassment is just oo much for me), but don’t bother with the traditional media spin. They’ll just drive you nuts.

The vote to invoke cloture will begin shortly. 60 votes are required to end debate, and if that happens Alito will likely be confirmed tomorrow morning. However the vote goes, it isn’t an end; just a beginning. In the coming weeks and months, we need to work to remove those traitorous Democrats and faux moderate Republicans from office, and reward those who stood up for the right to privacy, and rejection of the imperial presidency.

We’ve made our voices heard. The politicians and talking heads aren’t too crazy about our little peasant uprising. They aint seen nothin’ yet.

OK, this weekend was pretty good practice. Everybody should have their phone, fax, and e-mail lists all set and ready to go. When Senate office open up this morning, it’s time start hammering them. Let’s cause a meltdown of the Senate switchboard, and then start hammering their local offices, too. Check the Alito-48 page for the latest updates on heroes, cowards, traitors, and flip-floppers. Hammer the goddamn Republicans, too, ‘cuz you know damn well the wingnuts are pounding them.

If you’re at work today, find a Republican co-worker and use their phones while their not looking (or steal their long distance access numbers).

Here’s a list of campaign office numbers (f = fax) for Senators running in 2006. Tell them what kind of an affect a “yes” vote on cloture (that is, a vote to end debate) will have on their campaign coffers:

Akaka 808-522-8972, Bingaman 202-314-3222, Byrd 202-546-9292, Cantwell 202-314-3225, Carper 202-546-0909/202-546-6916f, 202-314-3224/202-314-3235f, Kohl 414-276-5645, Lieberman 202-546-0474/202-546-0476f, Ben Nelson 202-546-8100/202-546-7493f, Bill Nelson 202-547-0010/202-547-3419.

The showdown is scheduled to begin at 4:30 EST. If the Republican bid to end debate fails, they’ll no doubt schedule at least a few more votes (in part, thanks to Joe Biden telling them he intends to lose after the first vote) before they try the “nuclear” option. First things first. There are an awful lot of Democratic Senators out there who were born without a spine. They can’t stand up on their own, so we have to drag them to their feet.