I guess Wolf Blitzer was channeling his Nazi U-Boat Commander roots last night, as he used the classic “some people wonder” ploy to attack retired JAG Colonel John Galligan for having the audacity to be willing to provide a competent defense for accused Ft. Hood shooter, Nidal Malik Hasan. Galligan tried (somewhat in vain) to remind Wolfie that, back in the olden pre-Bush/Cheney days, we used to have this quaint notion that everybody had the right to a fair trial (not just to protect the rights of the accused, but also so that the rest of us can be reasonably certain that if somebody is found guilty, they really are guilty). Not that we’ve always lived up to that ideal, of course, but at least we usedta sorta kinda pretended we believed it. Wolf, I guess, would rather have a show trial where opposing counsel argue whether the defendant is guilty, or really guilty. It’s amazing how crappy CNN has become.

Speaking of CNN, it just got slightly less crappy. By now, we’ve all heard the tragic news that everybody’s favorite immigrant-hater, Lou Dobbs, abruptly ended his CNN career last night, saying:

“Some leaders in the media, politics and business have been urging me to go beyond my role here at CNN and engage in constructive problem-solving.”

(you gotta love how these hacks always manage to sneak in a “some say” in one form or another, no matter what the premise).

This can only mean one of three things. He’s either going to run for public office (maybe move to Louisiana and return the statehouse to regular Americans), start working out to be in good enough shape to compete in the 2011 Miss California pageant (the beauty there is that Lou can afford his own breast implants, so he won’t be beholden to anybody, and can speak freely against same sex Mexicans getting married), or Lou is gonna pack up a cooler full of beer and his shotgun, then set up a chaise lounge on the north side of the Rio Grande and wait for some varmints to try and cross.

Speaking of shotguns, back in my day, we had to figure out how to shotgun a beer all by ourselves. It was a sacred ritual handed down from one generation to the next (like, sophomores to freshmen). Not anymore, though. Now there’s a “how to” wiki for it. Of course, as is typically the case, the wiki is both incorrect, and filled with wimps.

For starters, the bozo in the video lets beer spill out of the can. Wasting beer, as we all know, is a sin. Also, they suggest that a bunch of guys should stand around in a circle. That’s just wrong (there are only a limited number of reasons for a bunch of guys to stand around in a circle, and none of them are appropriate). Also, they say to use a knife, but everybody knows you use a screwdriver. And if they were real men, they’d be shotgunning tall boys, not wimpy little 12 ounce cans. Of course, the real kicker is that they have a disclaimer to “drink responsibly.” Puh-leeze. If you’re gonna shotgun a few beers, you obviously aren’t intending to taste the beer, let alone drink responsibly.

It’s stuff like this that makes me worry about the future of this great nation.