According to the Today Show and other “news” outlets, I guess today is the day when people go back to work, fire up their computers, and use their company’s high-speed Internet access to buy shit online, killing what promises to be a veeeeeery long day back after a four-day weekend while looking like they’re being productive (or at least awake). I didn’t realize people needed an excuse to buy stuff online (or screw off at work), but I do know that today marks the start of “fuckoff” season here in the US. Productivity at most offices drops by at least 37% between now and mid April. I don’t have “statistics” or “studies” or anything to back that up, but it sounds true, which is all I need.

There’s a short uptick after the holidays (for about a week or so, until the whole “Joy to the World” crap wears off), but then it’s time to get serious about Super Bowl party planning (which is in February these days, if you can believe that). Then Valentine’s Day induced depression ensues, resulting in high absenteeism (not to mention suicide) rates for a couple of weeks. Workers return in large numbers to fill out their March Madness office pools (although turnout is understandably low on March 18), which keeps everybody occupied until April 5, but then it’s tax time, so nothing much gets done until that’s over with. But, whatever. All I know is I should’ve taken today off, ‘cuz I’m just not feeling it.

Krazy Jon Kyl compared Afghanistan to Vietnam yesterday on Fux News. Not in the way you’d expect (mainly, that it’s a stupid place to be at, is unwinnable because nobody knows what “winning” means, the people don’t want us there, and rather than expanding this fool’s war, we ought to be declaring victory and getting the hell out), but that we aren’t escalating things enough and ought to show our commitment to “git ‘er done” with a shitload of troops and just win this darn thing already. Apparently Jon kinda missed out on the whole half million US troops in Vietnam thing, over 200,000 of whom were killed or wounded before we declared “victory with honor” and ran like hell.

You’ll have to excuse Jon, because (like so very many Republican chickenhawks), he was pretty busy during Vietnam, what with graduating from college in 1964 and heading straight off to law school, and probably didn’t get a chance to read the papers. Oh, I reckon he could have enlisted after getting his law degree in 1966, but that might have interfered with his career plans. Though if they’d invented magnetic yellow ribbons back then, I’m sure Kyl would’ve been among the first to put one on his Cadillac.

Mike Huckabee might have been a longshot presidential candidate a couple of days ago, but today it’s starting to look as if his political life died along with those four Seattle police officers yesterday. It’s being reported that the “person of interest” police appear to have surrounded this morning (and believed to be wounded, if not dead), had what was essentially a life sentence in Arkansas commuted by then-Governor Huckabee.

Thanks for playing, Mike. But your record of compassion wasn’t really a good thing to have on the old wingnut resume in the first place, and this, well, this won’t look good. Can you say, “Willie Horton?” I thought you could.

Yesterday was a beautiful day here, but I squandered most of it doing laundry and kitchen demolition (just demolishing the kitchen, not the laundry). At least I now have room for the new refrigerator and “microhood,” though it comes at the expense of quite a bit of cabinet space. Looks like today is gonna be pretty crappy (40’s and rain – no end to our record snow drought in sight), though, so maybe going to work isn’t such a bad thing.

Speaking of work, looks like it’s time to go and buy shit be productive. Have a good one.